Nothing seems real anymore
My boat seems to have lost it's oar!
To find temporary solace in something and then come crashing down when it gets whisked away from under your feet is really quite an experience. For how long do I ignore this thing that I know to be true. Waiting for reality to settle in is just too much of a task. Do I miss you? Has my life lost it's direction? Am I confused as to what to do? "YES" to all of the above questions. And a big NO to whether this is a rant about a lost boyfriend.
I stood there and watched you sleep peacefully. Freed forever from this cruel world which discriminates on the basis of caste, social standing, colour, success and what not! I just stood there and watched you walk away from me into the darkness from where you shall never return. I should've stopped you but somehow my legs froze, my throat constricted and my head felt dazed. Separation is a mighty difficult thing. I often wonder where you are and whether you can see me. Are you sitting right next to me or are you far far away? Why does it seem so unreal? Why does it seem like just a bad dream. Why ,then, aren't you around to tell me you love me? Why doesn't my phone flash your name anymore? I didn't even get to talk to you proper one last time. Just to let you know that I love you more than anything under the sun. Just so I can tell you that you're THE most important person on the planet for me. Just so I could apologise to you for being such a cranky bitch. But I know that I loved you tonnes. I know I should've been around a little more. I should've been more understanding. I don't know what to do anymore. I just miss you so much. You were my baby. The thought of not being able to see you again, hear your voice again seems so unreal. How do I come to terms with it? How do I live on knowing that my baby's gone for good? The thought just drives me mad!
There were people bustling all around me. People coming and going. And you can't help but wonder how many of them really care. And then you wonder whether any of that really matters anymore. The wait was excruciating. The sight unbearable. So what does one do when their life gets turned upside down? Try and deal with it? Yes, I've heard that one tonnes of times. But Just how am I to deal with it? Keeping myself busy just doesn't work because it takes all my strength just to make sure I sound alright. So what is it that makes you get so attached to someone that you take them for granted and then sit and regret every moment you din't spend with them? How can I undo all the times I hurt your tiny little heart which was full of love for everyone around. Why didn't anybody see it? Why couldn't anyone sense that you were this lovely person who couldn't hurt a soul even if you wanted to? And if God did exist how is it justifiable that he put you through all that misery when all these people who are cruel and wicked lead a peaceful life . How is anything meaningful anymore.
And i sit here,day after day, waiting to sense you! Until we meet again....
Love you baby...with all my heart!
My boat seems to have lost it's oar!
To find temporary solace in something and then come crashing down when it gets whisked away from under your feet is really quite an experience. For how long do I ignore this thing that I know to be true. Waiting for reality to settle in is just too much of a task. Do I miss you? Has my life lost it's direction? Am I confused as to what to do? "YES" to all of the above questions. And a big NO to whether this is a rant about a lost boyfriend.
I stood there and watched you sleep peacefully. Freed forever from this cruel world which discriminates on the basis of caste, social standing, colour, success and what not! I just stood there and watched you walk away from me into the darkness from where you shall never return. I should've stopped you but somehow my legs froze, my throat constricted and my head felt dazed. Separation is a mighty difficult thing. I often wonder where you are and whether you can see me. Are you sitting right next to me or are you far far away? Why does it seem so unreal? Why does it seem like just a bad dream. Why ,then, aren't you around to tell me you love me? Why doesn't my phone flash your name anymore? I didn't even get to talk to you proper one last time. Just to let you know that I love you more than anything under the sun. Just so I can tell you that you're THE most important person on the planet for me. Just so I could apologise to you for being such a cranky bitch. But I know that I loved you tonnes. I know I should've been around a little more. I should've been more understanding. I don't know what to do anymore. I just miss you so much. You were my baby. The thought of not being able to see you again, hear your voice again seems so unreal. How do I come to terms with it? How do I live on knowing that my baby's gone for good? The thought just drives me mad!
There were people bustling all around me. People coming and going. And you can't help but wonder how many of them really care. And then you wonder whether any of that really matters anymore. The wait was excruciating. The sight unbearable. So what does one do when their life gets turned upside down? Try and deal with it? Yes, I've heard that one tonnes of times. But Just how am I to deal with it? Keeping myself busy just doesn't work because it takes all my strength just to make sure I sound alright. So what is it that makes you get so attached to someone that you take them for granted and then sit and regret every moment you din't spend with them? How can I undo all the times I hurt your tiny little heart which was full of love for everyone around. Why didn't anybody see it? Why couldn't anyone sense that you were this lovely person who couldn't hurt a soul even if you wanted to? And if God did exist how is it justifiable that he put you through all that misery when all these people who are cruel and wicked lead a peaceful life . How is anything meaningful anymore.
And i sit here,day after day, waiting to sense you! Until we meet again....
Love you baby...with all my heart!
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